babble: excuse the expression

excuse the expression if you would, but my husband is a badass.

this is not a costume.

this is real life.

a "weekend project" 

of completely disassembling all things brake related on our Range Rover and replacing rotors and linkages and wirey things... much more complicated than I can explain. While I was working with Victoria on Friday, he took his lunch hour and installed a new exhaust. Saturday afternoon he updated our olde timey Mercedes. I've witnessed him - no joke - laying underneath the wheel well - again, not kidding - lift the front end of the truck using only his finger-tips. Yah. I know.

Beyond his fixing everything and building me a table and camping in the snow and the rock climbing and other manly things, his badassness goes to a level that is beyond my verbal limit. Little things like watching cartoons with his ridiculous wife (may I suggest Phineas and Ferb?) and washing dishes while simultaneously playing with the dog, to bigger things like serving his friends and sponsoring a few kids so they can get an education. 

I mentioned a few months ago that you shouldn't waste time with someone who doesn't make you greater by being with them. The expression "my better half" very much applies in my life. And  he wants a partner - not someone who can change the brake pads and climb Everest - thats what he wants to do - but someone who helps bring the tools while he's under the car and runs the miles with him while he conditions for his climb to the peak. 

What I'm saying here is that whether you're awaiting that better half to come along or you already have your better half for always, work at being the best of yourself. Its not just about fairy tales and fulfilling your dreams of having someone there for you etc etc etc... you get to be the fulfillment of someone's dream, and honestly, that takes work. Being selfish is easy. Being a partner is about serving. 

So, whip your butt into shape: Be a better friend. Achieve those goals you've been wishing for. Wake up earlier. Stop negative talk. 

I'm saying all this to myself here.

I've been a part of a few conversations on this topic over the past week and its on my mind. Especially when I have someone who is so wonderful living in my house doing his best every day. Why should I do anything less?

-l

babble: its not just life

i've only ever been been more affected by the death of one other person, and its especially strange that i'm so affected by the death of someone that i've never met.

steve jobs passed yesterday, and even knowing it was coming i was still surprised.

i believe the reason its sticking with me is that he effectively transformed the lives of society - worldwide. not just the american population of computer users or "simply" influencing one generation; it was my grandma with her iMac, born on the east coast of america at the start of the depression to the young student in the third world with their iBook.

good and bad, one person took to heart that its not just life, its LIFE. 

there have been a few people that took that to heart and changed the world forever. not just locally. they took on the world... globally... forever. good and bad, there have been people who took it upon themselves to change the world.

humble beginnings

just don't stop some people

some start small and become... mother theresa. she wanted to serve the hurting. she is now synonymous with humble service. desmond tutu. started as a teacher. he wanted to bring restoration to south africa. he is now a model for peace.

i wont mention the bad ones.

i will mention you. me. us. we. 

one person, doing life to the best of themselves

plus another person doing the same thing

plus you

plus me

becomes an amazing group

that changes the world forever.

the thing is, i've decided i'm not going to wait for you so we can make a group to sweep the nation and then the world. and i'm not going to expect my life to become something so huge that it marks world history. 

what i am going to do is live ... greatly. be the best of myself. 

and fall down a lot

and learn to be humble because of it

and then dust off my skinned and bruised knees

and then get up and live my greatest life.

day to day. 

because, i'll say it again. its not just life, its LIFE. and you make it however you want it. 

so, i'll see you on the side of the world changers.

-l

a few world changers to inspire you:
SheDances
           Victoria and I have a project coming to Etsy soon to help support this wonderful organization. keep an eye out for that!
Invisible Children
World Vision
Compassion International

babble: 8 anniversaries

Yesterday, the 9th day of August in the year 2011, we celebrated 8 years of marriage. 

Yes, that's right. 8 years. 

Not old enough to drink, barely old enough to vote but wise enough to chose each other.   

Each year we celebrate our life together in odd ways - camping in wine country (i.e. no showering and sharing your small sleeping bag with your dog), walking 18 miles each day around San Francisco (forgetting walking shoes and buying a new cute pair of shoes, for "walking" aka looking awesome), working (like this year) and celebrating the Saturday before with hoarded wine from previous camping trips and purchasing a live lobster, which totally creeped me out. We've gone out for a fancy dinner once or twice, but honestly, I love the way we celebrate each year whether it be camping or watching Star Trek till we fall asleep.

People often ask me about marriage and relationships and dating... like I'm intelligent and insightful or something. And even if they don't come right out and ask me questions, we usually fall on the subject somehow. I think its because the way I'm looking at my then new husband in our wedding pictures pictures is the way I look at him now, the sparkle in my eye is there even when I'm just talking about him. I have spent this entire week so full of thankfulness and sheer happiness and ... peace. More of all of those than usual. 

This years anniversary isn't kinda ironic like the 5th when we realized we were halfway to 10 - sarcastic wow - or year 1 when you realize for the first time that you've gotten yourself married - dramatic gasp. It was comfortable and fun and just...          right.

So, if you were to ask me the key, the answer, the honest-to-goodness holy grail of how to have a great marriage, 

I couldn't tell you what that is.

One of those things. All of those things...

And maybe I'd say, 

"choose wisely, for while the true grail will bring you life, the false grail will take it from you."

I don't use Indiana Jones quotes as my daily devotional or anything, but there is some wisdom to it - walk with me here.

You know that the people you spend time with leave a mark on you - good, bad or otherwise. So why would you date, court and marry someone who doesn't leave you better than you were without them? 

So what if they are really ridiculously good looking? So what if they tell you sweet nothings that make you feel amazing when they are near but fade the moment they leave? So what if they neither build you up or break you down but just let you be? 

Choose wisely. Only be with that person who brings you life. 

8 years. 

And that's just the married part. 

High school sweethearts who can't remember when they started dating but it was somewhere around junior year. 

And lucky me, he's really ridiculously good looking. 

I can't say enough about how much my husband has given me through all our million years together. I love him. I just do. 

-L

Bad Hair Day

I cut my hair. Yes, it was my decision to do it, I put tons of thought into it, did my research, waited a few weeks to see if i was committed to the idea of the "bob" and talked the idea over with my friends.

And then .. I did it.

As I sat in that salon chair wielding the power of my hair into the very capable hands of my friend Stephanie I suppressed my nerves and told myself I wanted this.  Snip after snip she reassured me it would look fresh and hip and would be perfect for summer, I mean how could it not, we were emulating Jennifer Aniston's new hair cut.  Then the final reveal came, cap came off, smiles and a hug were given and I walked to my car, it was there in secret that i fought back the tears that were so ready to fall.  I mean it was just hair, no big deal I said to my self, you are an adult, you made this decision, this is a very silly thing to cry over. But my heart wasn't getting the message, so i did what any girl does on her way home stuck in 405 traffic I called my sister and begged her to reassure me that I looked anything other than what I felt...ugly.  With great patience and a very sympathetic heart she assured me i wasn't ugly, i didn't look 16 (when in fact i did) and that I wouldn't be alone forever as I was hysterically saying between fits of tears.

After being consoled by the roommates when I got home I did what any other young person does nowadays, I put a picture of it on Facebook in the hopes to get me out of the funk.  And they loved it (I have nice friends), they said all the lovely things that friends say when they know you hate something and need to cheer you up.  And then it came by a way of a text message...Perspective.  Would I mind praying for a friend of a friend who had just been a horrible car accident?  Of course I would and I did and that's when I realized who cares about my hair, it will grow back.  It's just a bad haircut, it's not pain, injustice or death, it is not suffering or extreme disappointment, it's not a marriage falling apart or a loss of a child's innocence, it's just hair.  I was humbled.

So remember Perspective is everything, at the end of the day it's just a haircut that will grow out thanks to flaxseed oil and a little biotin.  It's only a bad hair day so dry those tears. ;)

-V xoxo

babble: go get it

Every now and again I may shock (and possibly awe) you with a long and hopefully, likely, an interesting post.

This is one of them.

I am a creature of habit.
                      And by habit I mean... lazy.
In the morning while I eat my breakfast I look up the same websites, blogs and news sites everyday, searching out other peoples interesting lives and the impact of others on the world.
Being full of dreams, gifts, ambition, goals, passion, greatness, talent, grandeur means very little when one does nothing about those dreams, gifts, ambitions, goals, passions, greatness(es), talents and grandiose ideas.
And trust me, its more than a little frustrating knowing and actually currently thinking that I can and should be living out the dreams in my mind* and the passions of my life while surfing the interwebs, seeking out people who are doing their lives the way I want to be doing mine : Living. Creating. Acting.

I'm not meant to be normal.
                       I got a text from one of my favorite friends the other night that said, quoth: "LOcean! I am watching Sex in the City and for some reason Carries quirkiness reminds me so much of you!"

This is quite a compliment. If you know what I'm quoting when I say the following, we can be friends:

"No, you're quirky. Quirky and weird are two very different things."

Not only does it seem as though my personality is not, shall we say     boring,     but I really, really don't want my life to be boring. At all.
And honestly, my afore mentioned laziness is boring, apathetic and looks like I'm just plain lost.
There are things that I do that are not the norm.
   Garden.
       Sew.
          Restore... things... that are old.
But who I am, how I live, the choices I am making - those are the things that I want to stand out. Not only the products; the results of my making,

but the overall effect of my life should stand out. 

I should not be afraid.
                       The reason that I am so lazy is really just fear.
I am so afraid of both success and failure. The vast 'unknown'. oooohhh, how it sends shivers down my spine. 
Lately I have been seeing quotes and hearing speakers bullet point bits like 
"It's amazing how successful you can be if you simply do what you say you're going to do."
"It always seems impossible until it's done." - Nelson Mandela
"Sometimes, faith requires total trust in a future outcome you cannot see."
For the love. Its everywhere! Its like I have Nike in the 90's popping up everywhere saying "just do it" and then hitting me with the Swoosh just for laughs. (ok, that last part was the visual I had just then.) And then, instead of saying "you know what, you're right Nike. Thanks!" and then trotting off to go do it, I find some little distraction, something that doesn't really move me in the right direction, and go do that instead. Because its easier. It won't require sacrifice. It doesn't sting when it goes wrong.
But how many times have I heard and seen evidence of how important and just awesome it is when we do the things we were created to do, no matter the cost, despite the potential and inevitable failures, risking what we cling to most - our pride - and humble ourselves to the point of, heaven forbid,

being who we are supposed to be. 

Invisible Children.
Curiosity Saved the Human.
charity:water.

I know these people. They are living the kind of life that when you get just a snapshot of it you are inspired and understand that they are working hard at life, doing great things.


I'm not Picasso or Mozart or Mother Theresa but, for all its worth, I'm Laura Ocean, dang it, and that's pretty amazing. There isn't one single person on this great Earth like me. And there isn't one person on this great Earth like you.

To me, that is HUGE. My voice, the thing I'm supposed to use to woo you and tell you a story that may change your life, is nothing like anybody else's. My actual voice I mean. And my written, literary voice is also unique. So who am I to say that I'm not good enough? And for that matter, who are you to say that you aren't either? I'm here to tell you that you are.

Get it

-L

(*a lyric from 'crying shame' bam!)

honest...

-L

transition

i'm in transition again.

Actually, I think I was born as the living icon of transition. Part self-induced and part fact of life, I have moved 8 times in 8 years, I have changed careers, I have all but shaved my head and grown it long again, I have decided to live in Paris but left there and moved to LA instead, I have lost family members and gained new ones, I have owned 6 cars since moving to Los Angeles and am currently looking to both sell my current car and move from my current house.

Again. Transition. 

Top that off with this summer bringing new jobs for both me and my husband and we have a lot happening.

However overwhelmed I would actually like to feel I can't help but be happy about all of this. I love a good challenge that I know I can win. Scrabble anyone?

That statement is how I'm going about all of this change in my life. I could be emotional about it, but fact is, I'm freaking blessed. I have amazing friends who are my family. I have a wonderful man as my teammate in this crazy life. And I'm gonna get that new job... whatever it may be.

So, chin up!

-L